The most important things about kissing are: COMFORT AND CONFIDENCE. Yes, passion and attraction are the “known” most important factors, but I did not feel the need to mention them since I don’t see why you would be kissing someone whom you are not passionate about or attracted to. You don’t want to barrel into a kiss, shoving your entire mouth and face into your partner while breathing like a loose boar. Sounds funny? Well, believe me, it happens.
Step 1. One of the best things to remember is that kissing isn’t about how horny or excited you are throughout the rest of your body. Your mouth is its own entity, and when only kissing, it should act as a fully functional part of your body. That means that you can do more things than you can imagine with your tongue, lips, and teeth. It also means that you do not have to go nuts with your hands – you should find a safe, comfortable, and sensual place to put them. The typical spots are around the neck or waist, but those are not the only spots. Try holding your partners face in both hands (closer to the ears rather than the cheeks) to bring them in to a warm, breath-taking kiss. You can also put your hand on the nape of the neck (the back area just under the hair) and lightly stroke or caress the areas that you are touching in sync with the tempo and mood of the kiss.
Knowing when to kiss is also crucial, and there are many theories about how to know when the other party is ready. There will be prolonged looks, licking of lips, staring at the other party’s lips. I find that using your intuition is also very effective, along with timing. Don’t walk down the street in a group of people and then turn around and attack someone who has been flirting with you all day. There are more subtle ways to get that first kiss, and be sure that it is welcomed. BEFORE ANY KISSING IS EVEN CONSIDERED, make sure that you keep your mouth and breath clean with gum or mint. Nothing is worse then kissing a person with
bad breath
.
Step 2. You're at the moment of approach for the first kiss, or the start of a kissing session. Make sure it is in a comfortable, discreet location so as to avoid any awkwardness that might arise from onlookers. There is nothing wrong with leaning in for the kiss when you are ready, maybe using a finger under your partner’s chin or lightly holding the back of the head to cue them in on the approach. What is important is that you do not thrust your tongue half way down your partner’s windpipe. It is most effective to start with a short, slightly open mouthed kiss without any tongue. As you are very close to contact, begin to close your eyes and keep them closed. This is good for avoiding an awkward stare at 2 inches away, and for blocking as much outside stimuli as possible allowing your kiss to be fully concentrated and felt. Use your lips to gently grab at your partner’s in an open and closed mouth motion, but keep it lip to lip with no tongue. Try to start it slowly, breathing calmly through your nose. Sometimes this can be done straight on, but usually tilting your head is required to avoid a clashing of the noses. Make sure to avoid engulfing your partner’s lips or slobbering on them. That is just gross. As you begin this, you will notice if your partner returns the kiss. This is more of a gentle way to start any kissing sessions, or to give a respectful first kiss.
Step 3. The rest of this is for any kiss, even the 100th kiss. Kissing is the stepping stone to many other things, as well as being fun in its own right, so it is important to be good at it. I already mentioned a nice subtle open mouth, no tongue kiss above. Now for something a little heavier hitting. You can start off with the above kiss, and then progress to a deeper, more intense kiss. Remember to transition easily; don’t go from gentle to tongue stabbing. As you do the open mouth lip kiss, start moving your tongue out slightly, just enough to graze partner’s lips and then bring it back in as the mouth closes. Keep at this, gradually increasing the length at which you extend your tongue until it goes into your partner’s mouth. Do not try to wrestle partner’s tongue as it tries to reciprocate the action. Merely stop and pull yours back in, or get around the side or top gently.
For a woman=you could try giving one short and gentle suck on the tongue every now and then as it enters your mouth. Guys can do this as well, but I find it is more of a message to the receiver if he is a guy and adds some naughty excitement. Some variations during a kissing session would be to gently rub your tongue along your partner’s lips (not slobbering) and following it with a slow, deep kiss. Take a moment to break apart a little while still embracing and touching each other cheek to cheek until your mouths find their way back to each other.
Step 4. Now what about those deep intense kisses? This is a progression of everything mentioned above. Not everyone likes every part of what you read here, so you should know what your partner enjoys. The deep intense kiss is the fully open-mouthed, tongue kiss. The mouth does not fully close as with the open and closed mouth kiss. Both mouths are opened and against each other, with a small motion of opening and closing your mouth without ever fully closing. The tongues are fully and almost constantly in play here, as this is mostly a tongue oriented kiss. You can flicker or rub tongues, but do not fight for position. If your is too overbearing with their tongue, stop for a second and whisper breathily “stop for one second” so something to that effect that lets them know you are going to control the kiss for a minute. Then lead by example and use your tongue to show them how you want to be kissed. If they start overpowering you again, then you may have to just let them know, as sexual communication is the only way to get fully satisfied.
Step 5. MOST OF ALL, RELAX AND ENJOY IT!
Tips & Warnings
Remember, when this is solely about kissing, and not about trying to get your partner in bed, treat it as so. Enjoy the kiss fully for what it is; don’t dilute it with thoughts of getting laid. In the midst of kissing you can whisper small things to each other, make sure to make some sort of noise. Whether it is a whisper, or a light pleased moan, it will help to stir up the situation in a good way. When you break the kiss at points, make sure to look at each other, give flirtatious smiles/smirks-like you are both onto the same private joke that nobody else is allowed in on. It will again stir up excitement and intimacy. Use your hands on your partner’s waist to pull them in closer to you. Do not approach your partner like a heavy breathing, slobbery hyena. Take it easy and let it progress to a passionate point (if that’s where it is heading.)
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